Hey guys, I’m not what one would call tech savvy, but have been a 3D fan since I saw Jaws in 3D. Also I loved seeing full frontal nudity in 3D in last year’s cinematic classic “My Bloody Valentine” in 3D. Are you dying to be the first on your block (or the first in America) to get a new 3D TV? Sears and Amazon are taking orders for two Samsung 3D-ready LCD TVs the $2,600 46-inch and the $3,300 55-inch models.

For those who had predicted that 3-D TVs would cost loads more than regular models, the prices may be a surprise. The new 55-inch model costs the same as Samsung’s least-expensive LED-backlit LCD of the same size, the UN55B6000. And its new 46-inch set is priced exactly between its least-expensive and middle-rung LED-backlit TVs of the same size.

While the TVs require active-shutter glasses to see 3D (when 3D television becomes available — it isn’t yet), neither model, at least now, bundles glasses with the TV. So expect to shell out at least $50 more when you need the 3D specs.

Both Amazon and Sears are charging the same price for each model, and Sears says the TVs will be in their stores in about nine days. But in most states, Amazon.com doesn’t charge sales tax and is offering the sets with no shipping charge; so a purchase through the online merchant could save as much as $300. Which might be enough to buy one of those new 3D-capable Blu-ray players when they become available.

Should you buy a new 3D-ready television now? If you’re in the market for a new set, I’d hold off. Other 3-D models from LG, Panasonic, and will be available within the next few months. Once those sets come to market, you’ll be able to compare prices and performance.

But the real question I have is when will we have X-Box 360 3D? Orrrrr will it be in 3D because the TV is? That may make the difference to me if I buy one. I mean, we can’t all be like Paige and have $10,000+ home theaters but if I can play Grand Theft Auto in 3D I may dive into Grace’s college fund a bit early. Pissy.

Tickle It Guys,
-Maffew-

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Hey guys-

The Pussification Of America series will continue next week . I wanted to take a break and share with you a story.

That’s Little Miss Firefly. She’s a 26 year old, 26 inch tall midget – part of the Hellz A Poppin’ Freak Show. We had her, Penguin Boy, and many of the other members of the troupe in studio. Penguin Boy is like 3 feet tall, has no arms, and 2 left hands. Literally, when he was a kid his abusive father cut both of Penguin Boy’s arms off. His hands are transplants, and oddly enough their both left hands.

Little Miss Firefly was a sweet little thing. As I held her in my arms, all I was thinking was….what would this be like? I’ve never been with a midget. And yes to the PC Elite and the haters, she calls herself a midget, so send your email elsewhere. Quit being offended for no reason, pissy.

But as I thought about what it would be like, it hit me. I don’t think I could. Even if she had a bangin’ body with Jessica Alba’s head, it would be difficult. I have a (almost) 7 year old daughter and when I was holding Little Miss Firefly, I was thinking, “This 26 year old is smaller than my kid.” Therefore, I do not feel I could hit it.

Also, here’s the crew with the cast of Hellz A Poppin’ including the man Penguin Boy on the bottom right of Faybay’s gut.

I held a midget, and I liked it…just not like that.

Tickle It Guys,
-Maffew-

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Hey guys-

The Pussification Of America-Scene 2: The Kids of America

Our generation (meaning Generation X) will be the last of it’s kind. And I’m totally good with that. I’m glad to be part of the defining generation. What the hell are you talking about Maffew? Well, I shall explain and I shall.

The sport of baseball goes out with our generation. Not professional ball exactly, but in a way yes. My parents (the baby boomer generation) grew up with baseball as America’s past time. It is now football. And of course around here, the national past time is high school football-but I’m talking nationally. But back to baseball, when I was a kid I played little league baseball. I played for the San Souci Paladins (yeah we ripped off Furman.) Every kid in my neighborhood played on the team. And when we didn’t have games, we practiced until dark. Jesus, I feel like Kevin Arnold from The Wonder Years narrating his life. But it was true. We played baseball and loved the hell out of it. Now, kids don’t like baseball. They want to play soccer. And that’s cool. Not making fun of soccer kids, in fact I’m a big fan of soccer moms. But this is the little league Soccer Generation.

We played to win. If we lost, we were pissed and usually so were our Dads. It taught me life lessons. Play hard. Some sensitive types say, “Oh Maffew, you can’t get down on your kids if they don’t win.” I’m not saying you ground them or spank their ass, but look at it like this is your kid gets a D on their Algebra test, you’d probably sit down with them and figure out how to get a C. Team sports gave me friends for life because we struggled to win together. And as a former football player at Wade Hampton, I can tell you I know the struggle. Today, in some leagues, they don’t even keep score! Because that would be calling a kid a LOSER. How are these kids supposed to be raised to think everybody wins. In a perfect world, everybody would be super rich, awesome healthcare, 4 day weekends, etc, etc. But that’s not life. It’s the Pussification of America, people! When we’re not making them get off the PS3 to go outside and play-we’re telling them now matter what, you’re a winner! But they’re nnnnnnnnnnnnot! It will great affect them when they hit high school and go into college and eventually the infamous “real world.”

And think about this: How can Shawn Michaels be in Degeneration X when he’s a baby boomer?

Tickle It Guys,
-Maffew-

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Hello pissies-

Since the Internet is SUPPOSED to be a little more flexible with what you say I want to use this small space on the net and as a way of delivering my sermons. I have prepared a 5 part non-candy coated, politically incorrect series on The Pussification Of America.

Scene 1 – Gaycism & Racism In America: The Double Standards

What about us? Us being fat people.

People bust balls! Comedy has been around since Paige was in high school (MANY YEARS AGO.) And they made fun of each other and guess what? They laughed and it was comedy. About 20 years ago our nation decided everyone’s morality and ethics. Back then a white comic could do an impression of a black guy and if funny – it was accepted. Richard Pryor wrote movies like “Blazing Saddles” that included the N word many times. Was it funny? Yes. Why? Because he was making fun of the word and the type of person that would use it daily. Do you hear that? A BLACK man by the name of Richard Pryor wrote the joke!

And while on the subject of the infamous N word. We all know what the N word is. When you hear someone say the N word you know what the N word is. Your brain calculates what that means, you probably all say it inside when you see or hear someone say or type “the N word.” So the phrase “the N word” is in fact just as bad as the actual 7 letter N word itself. Disagree? Walk up to a guy like Kimbo Slice and say “Hey N-word” and see if he doesn’t whip your ass just as bad if not worse had you called him the actual word.

Let’s get something straight. Comedy such as that of comedian Michael “Kramer” Richards is not what I’m referring to. He clearly has mental issues. But in the art of comedy – why not?

Back to fat people like me. Fat people are the biggest (no pun intended) punchlines in society! Fat jokes on everything from Spongebob to Saturday Night Live. Yeah there are some crazy fat people out there that get all pissed off, but most of us laugh along. Why? Because it’s not a big deal. Unless they are making fat jokes about one specific fat person then why should all fat people be offended? And yeah, they make fun of famous fat people, but my opinion on that is if you become a celebrity and get publicly embarrassed by something such as being fat is really ok. You’re making millions so I think we’re even. I’d gladly be made fun of on Letterman or Conan in exchange for millions. People are famous because of the people who made them famous – their fans. Without them you’re nothing. So why do these celebrities get a little money and suddenly think they can’t be bothered anymore. Madonna once said,“Oh these fans are always asking to get a picture with me or my autograph – get a life!” That makes no damn sense to me. Come on! Be happy someone wants a picture with you or your chicken scratch of a signature. So “get a life” the way she used it means stop being a fan. Stop showing me attention. Stop honoring me, by asking for a people with me. Everytime someone asks me for my Johnny Hancock or a picture with me, I think it’s pretty cool. I feel honored. Not that my signature is worth anything (the last one to sell in an auction went for $4.72) but I think it’s cool that apparently I’m doing a decent of enough job and people get what I do and even want it. Same thing with a picture. At one point everyone has met a famous person and got a picture with them. Why? Is it because we feel like we know these people because we’ve watched them play football or they starred in our favorite movie that we’ve seen a thousand times. Because we feel a personal connection with them. They should be thrilled someone feels that way. Hell, it always makes me happy when people ask for a picture or autograph. And it’s not an ego thing. It’s my own weird acceptance meter to know people dig what I do. I can read how well the ratings are all day, but when a person asks for a photo or autograph that’s how I calculate how we’re doing. That’s why some have called me the AntiCelebrity.

Back to us fat people. How many fat kids have had their asses beat by a group of skinny or fit dudes? A lot. How many gay people are beat up by those same guys? A lot. The difference though is that they were charged with a hate crime when they beat up the gay guy. They probably made fun of both guys. Fat jokes for one, gay jokes for the other. Why does one have a stronger sentence in prison? Both crimes are equally despicable. Do you not agree?

I’m sick of the double standards. I’m sick of people not being themselves because they’re afraid of what everyone else will say. I’m sick of people being offended all the time. What happened to this country? We became pussified. The thing is, these people who are offended by things on TV, radio, or comedy acts are suddenly less offended when they sue and get money. Then they walk off smiling like “hey I taught that guy a lesson” – but in reality you just showed us, call me whatever the hell you want to, as long as you pay me. That’s a sellout.

Tickle It Guys,
-Maffew-

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Sup pissies!

The Planet’s new site is pretty slick, I mean it’s no TickleItGuys.com but a close second.

Since the Internet is SUPPOSED to be a little more flexible with what you say I want to use this small space on the net and as a way of delivering my sermons. I have prepared a 5 part non-candy coated, politically incorrect series on The Pussification Of America.

Scene 1 – Racism In America
Scene 2 – Kids Of America
Scene 3 – Religion In America
Scene 4 – Freedom Of Speech In America
Scene 5 – Legalization In America

My views will that of me Phillip Matthew Harris and not that of Entercom Greenville, WTPT 93.3 The Planet FM and their sponsors and/or advertisers. That is if the maaaaan-uh doesn’t hold me done.

D-Day is Hallow’s Eve…join me.

“Don’t interfere with anything in the Constitution. That must be maintained, for it is the only safeguard of our liberties.”
- Abraham Lincoln

Tickle It Guys,
-Maffew-

TickleItGuys.com
twitter.com/theriseguys
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P1Space.com

Hi, how’s it going? Pretty good here. My dream of going on Wheel Of Fortune may be coming true. I’ve been playing the online game like hell and entering. Well over the weekend I got an email inviting me to come to Atlanta next month to tryout. So that’s pretty cool I suppose.

Are you like me, do you freakin love Big Brother? This is the first season I’ve ever watched but I love it. I like reality shows. I like the idea of taking 12 strangers from all walks of life putting them in a cage and letting them go at it. Mike Vick tried a similar project with dogs and it got him labeled the Devil.

I think C-Section scars on women are kinda hot. I also think pregnant women in general are hot. It would sound like I have a pregnancy fetish, but I don’t. In fact, I wouldn’t even want to have sex with them. I’d rather cuddle up with my fatty little friend and sleep with the air on 60 degrees. Regardless, pregnant women aren’t sexually attractive to me, I just want to hang out with them. I liken it to people who love their nieces and nephews but don’t want any kids of their own. The last time a girl told me she was pregnant with my baby I moved to Greenville, SC and changed my name to Maffew. Mr. Harris, if you’re nasty.

Let’s talk Reba. Very strange accent when she “sangs” and facial expressions that rival that of Jack Nicholson as The Joker. But the sound, oh so sweet. It’s like what I imagine the sirens sounded like in mythology. If my boat was lost in the fog, “Reber’s” awkwardly soothing voice would lead me home. Also, she looks like Kathy Griffin and the Cheshire Cat had sex and had a baby.

I’m Matt and that’s what I’m thinking and my mind’s going 90 MPH.
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What’s up pissies?

2 good movies out there that you need to go see.  Bruno and The Hangover.  The Hangover has been out for a while, bust a must see.  More about that flick in just a second.

I went to see Bruno with Nine and Faybay.  Nine and I agree Bruno is much better than Borat.  FooBoo as usual, disagreed with us.  I don’t want to give away too much but Bruno actually interviews a real terrorist.  I believe he’s in bed with Bin Laden somehow.  Amazing Sasha Baron Cohen had the balls to do it.  I wholeheartedly believe Cohen is one of the Top comedians of our time.

Back to The Hangover, I said on the show how much I liked that movie.  P1 Bikini Bottom sent me a link to the following video saying The Hangover is a ripoff of Dude, Where’s My Car?

Slightly.  Maybe.

I’ll be back next time with Chapter 10. Until then, F**KS MY CAR?

-Maffew

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What’s up pissies?

Make plans to join us Friday night.  It’s a Rise Guys Big Ass Draft TOGA party.  We’ll be in togas (and hope you are too) at Little D’s on Fernwood Glendale Road in Spartanburg from 8-10 THIS Friday night (June 26th).  First time, we’ve had a BAD Night in Sparkle City in a long, long time.  Faybay hates Spartanburg, but we’re making him go.  He says there’s a lot of crime there so I have him a bullet proof vest to wear.

Over at TickleItGuys.com (the official website of The Rise Guys) we have a brand new Rise Girl.

That’s Ashley Nicole, our newest Rise Girl.  Check out all 62 pics of here at TickleItGuys.com

Speaking of girls, Perez Hilton finally got his.

What’s up pissies?

Lots has happened since my last blog.  I was threatened with 30 days in jail by Greenville City Attorney Ron McKinney for asking you guys to call Greenville City Manager Jim Bourey’s office to complain about Jim’s decisions concerning the Crawfish Boil.  I shot a pilot for a TV show, scene on 7 – coming to WSPA Channel 7 next week.  What else?  Oh yeah, I got remarried and we had a baby.  I didn’t really talk about it on the show, but here they are.

Speaking of TV stuff, ‘ole Nine and I shot a commercial the other day for Spinx and Rockstar Energy Drink.  It features us on ATV’s with a green screen behind us.  I believe they’re gonna put the woods or something behind us.  Here’s a pic of Nine preparing for his scene.

Now that I’m thinking about this green screen thing I should have asked what was gonna be on there.  I can only imagine the fun cameraman Joe Lawrence will have this green screen at his family’s Christmas party.

I got some new ink recently.  I went back to Monster Ink on HWY 153 in Powdersville and got more work on my forearm.  I had the first 2 lines from the eulogy I read for my Daddy at his funeral.  Here I am on the table before the needle began.

We have a new Rise Girl.  Her name is Brittany and she’s from Anderson.  Check her out.

You can see all 65 pictures of her @ http://TickleItGuys.com

Oh me?  I’m just sitting here blogging after I got stung by a bee.

Grace and I hung out at Liberty Bridge at Reedy River Falls recently.  The waterfall and the park along with the bridge is definitely something to see.

The only problem was that our feet were stained orange after we got out of the water.  But I ordered some stuff online, so hopefully it will eventually come off.  Oh and I hope it makes that blood in my stool stop as well.

After we left the park we let some poor 180 lb. guy drive us back up Main Street to Wild Wing for lunch.  I believe they call them rickshaws.  I felt really bad for the guy and rewarded him.  I hope the $30 covers his hospital bills.

I usually close the blog with an email from a MF (Matt Fan) but I’ve been to busy to read emails.  I’m preparing for next weekend when I kick off my nation-wide inspirational tour.  The “Matt Will Help You Make Sex Good” Tour kicks off in Lincoln, Nebraska.  But I will close with a poll.  To give your choice just leave a comment.  The question is:

WHICH WHITE GUY PLAYED THE BEST BLACK GUY IN A MOVIE?

a) Gene Wilder  in “Silver Streak”

b) Robert Downey, Jr. in “Tropic Thunder”

I’ll be back next week with Chapter 9. Until then, F**KS MY CAR? and Jon Ludwig needs to rot in prison.

-Maffew

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Aloha, pissies!

I’m going to do something you’re not used to in mine blog. That’s right, a VIDEO BLOG! These video blogs are on fire on the internet like TickleItGuys.com

But here goes, I hope you enjoyed your visit.

I’ll be back next week with Chapter 8. Until then, F**KS MY CAR? and God Bless The S-N-double OP – ’cause he don’t love dem ho’s

-Maffew

wm933@aol.com – email

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