When I got off work Friday night, Tessa and I went to Walmart to pick up some groceries and miscellaneous items we needed.  As we were wrapping up our little shopping expedition, Tessa went to grab some shampoo while I stayed across the aisles in the toy department.  While she was finding her brand of shampoo, I felt the urge to pass gas, break wind, cut the cheese – you get the idea!  So I found an incospicuous place to discretely release my excess baggage and, in the process, Tessa was coming back with her spoils and made eye contact with me.  The look on my face gave me away and she gave me the “Seriously?!” look which, in turn, caused me to explode with a little more than just laughter!  To make matters worse, she felt it necessary to audibly call me out on my little slip adding insult to injury since the people around us obviously heard me to begin with!  Needless to say, I moved on to another part of the store as quickly as I could!

The next day we went down to Easley to show our support for our receptionist, Katie Pack who was competing in the 2011 Miss Greenville Pageant.  It was very stuffy in the church where it was held and we sat behind the soundguy who obviously didn’t have a clue as to what he was doing because the sound was bloody awful and we could hear the girl who was emceeing the event while she was backstage because the genius didn’t think to turn her mic off while she wasn’t on stage.

Katie ended up winning People’s Choice in the pageant but ended up 3rd runner-up which I thought was boo-crap because she was way hotter than some of the other girls and should have at least been awarded Miss Upstate or even Miss Clemson since those were two other titles they were awarding in addition to Miss Greenville.  Oh well, she did fantastic considering it was her very first pageant!

When we left the pageant, we stopped and ate at Don Pablo’s so I could get some of their delicious cornmeal spoon bread which I haven’t had in YEARS!  We then did a little shopping at Old Navy and Shoe Carnival next to Regal Hollywood 20 since we were waiting on their 7:10 showing of Insidious.

Insidious was WELL worth the trip to the movies and scared the pee outta both me and Tessa!  Not surprising considering it’s the collaboration of the creators of the Saw and Paranormal Activity films (keep your eyes open for the “Jigsaw” drawing on Patrick Wilson’s chalkboard in his classroom in the film)!  Easily the best horror movie so far this year – not that there’s been many since it’s only April!

Insidious  \m/  \m/  \m/  \m/  \

Since I’m reviewing movies in this blog, I wanna add one I neglected a few weeks ago due to my memoriam for Jamie Browder (didn’t seem appropriate to tack on a movie review).  The film in question is the new movie starring the ever-so-lovely Aussie actress Emily Browning, Sucker Punch.

I have to say that I was a bit disappointed with the film.  I guess I expected more and was hoping for a happier ending (not to give anything away).  However, it was an entertaining film with lots of eye candy!  Definitely a redeeming value!

Sucker Punch  \m/  \m/  \m/

Last Tuesday, Tessa and I went out to catch the new Anthony Hopkins thriller The Rite.  It was a nice little film about exorcists and demonic possession but with nothing much special added.  But, then again, what can you do that hasn’t already been done in exorcism flicks?  Worth a rental….

The Rite  \m/  \m/  \m/  \

This weekend, however, was very uneventful and I rather enjoyed it!  Didn’t really go anywhere special to speak of except to the mall to get some new shoes for wearing to the gym.

Outside of that, I just sat at home and watched the Super Bowl and ate the best snacks we could come up with being on a low sodium diet!

After work last Wednesday night, Tessa and I finally went out to see Season of the Witch with Nicolas Cage.  The film was actually not bad until the end battle with some crappy looking CGI demon.  Outside of that, it was pretty entertaining and at least worth a rental.

Season of the Witch  \m/  \m/  \m/

Friday night, Tessa and I drove up to her mom’s to move her couch and mattress back to my place but ended up moving MUCH more!  We got in rather late and slept in the next morning only to wake up and discover that her mom had some guys coming by to pick up her pool table and to move some things around for her soon-to-be roomies.  So, I was put in charge of helping out and, brother, that pool table was a BITCH!!!!

While the two guys and I were working on the pool table, Tessa went and rented a U-Haul truck for the couch and mattress.  After everything was moved and loaded, we made our way back home and I called upon the assistance of our metal show (Planet X) host Diesel (who happens to live in the same complex) to help us get Tessa’s heavy bitch of a couch in the apartment – the damn thing has TWO built-in recliners!

After the dust finally settled, we rested on the ‘new’ couch (new to me, that is) after having chunked the old one by the dumpster since the springs were all busted and falling apart!

On Sunday, we went to go visit my cousin Tonya who was in town for the weekend from Portland, OR.  Afterwards, we went by PetSmart so Tessa could pick out a birthday gift since she was really wanting a new pet.  What did we end up with?  RATS!!!!

Once we got the newly acquired rodents home and settled in their cage, it was time to head up to Spartanburg and meet up with her mom, grandmother and aunt Cheryl at Kanpai of Tokyo for a bit of a birthday dinner splurging!

After dinner, we were both pooped from having been all over the place all weekend so we came home and….did LAUNDRY!  There’s no rest for the Twisted!

Last Monday I went to check into getting Lasik surgery at Spectrum Lasik.  After an extensive examination, I was found to be a candidate for the procedure and asked if I could be available on Thursday.  Needless to say, I jumped at the chance and it has been the best decision I have made since giving my heart to Jesus!  My vision is GREAT!  Granted I have to take good care of them as they heal as I have to take several types of drops several times daily and wear goggles in the shower and to bed!  And my left eye looks like it’s got a hickey!

Friday I went back to Spectrum Lasik for my first 24 hour checkup.  Afterwards, Tessa made me run to Doctors Care to have them take a look at my arm as my new Cthulhu tat had become increasingly red and infected.  They ended up writting me a prescription for an antibiotic and now it is on the mend although I am concerned about the possiblity of having to get some touch up work done to it.

I ended up sleeping a LOT this weekend giving my eyes much needed rest as they recover from the surgery.  I did, however, manage to make it out to the Greenville Road Warriors hockey game at the Bi-Lo Center on Friday night as a double date with me, Tessa, Merckle and Tessa’s former neighbor Lauren.  We hit up Joy of Tokyo first where Tess and I had to order the chicken and steamed rice bowl with no soy sauce due to our diet.  At the game, I tried to bid on a couple of jerseys in their silent auction but lost both bids so I ended up getting Tessa a pink Road Warriors hoodie.

Saturday, Tessa and I went to the movies and caught The Green Hornet.  Seth Rogen was great in the role and the fight scene between the Hornet and Kato in a sibling rivalry of sorts was one of the best I have ever seen!  I was pleasantly surprised!  Hilarious and action packed!

The Green Hornet  \m/  \m/  \m/  \m/

Sunday was the memorial service for Scott Lynch at Karmas where his favorite band, INSIDIOUS DEMISE played a set in his memory.

This morning I hit the gym at Coops and weighed in and discovered that I have lost five and a half pounds in the past week since starting this rigorous diet and excercise regimen!  WOOHOO!!!!!  I can has cheezburger?!?!?!?!?!

Needless to say, I am more excited about one than I am the other!  Tessa and I went and joined Coops Health and Fitness on Friday since one of their trainers, Mike Baehser is a good friend of mine.  He gave us a quick rundown of the diet he was going to put us on and, I gotta admit, I’m not exactly thrilled about cutting out some of my favorite foods for the next couple of months but I am hoping to develop some better eating habits that will stay with me once the diet has run its initial course.

Needless to say, we did what most people do when they are about kick off a hardcore diet, we lived it up all weekend long!  We spent most of the weekend at her mom’s up in Spindale, NC and went to go see my friend Miles at the Wicked Needle in Rutherfordton, NC Saturday to get some new ink!

I went first and had Miles do my tribal Cthulhu tat on my right forearm!  Miles worked well and fast as it only took him roughly an hour and a half and the tat is KILLER!  Check it out!

Tessa was next with a set of stars behind her left ear!  I went into another room of the tattoo shop to have a shot and came back 5 to 10 minutes later and he was done!

Afterwards, we headed back to Miles’ and his wife Melissa’s house to do a little post ink festivities!  All I can say is that it involved the usual party elixirs and Michael Jackson the Experience on Wii!  I think there is a video of it out there somewhere….

Sunday, on our way back home, we stopped off in Spartanburg to catch a showing of the Coen brothers’ remake of John Wayne’s western classic True Grit.  I have to admit, I’ve never seen the original having been exposed to very little of John Wayne films, but the remake was a damn good film!  Definitely worth seeing!

True Grit  \m/  \m/  \m/  \m/

Now that the weekend is over, the diet has begun!  All I can say is that what doesn’t kill me had damn well better make me stronger!

Wow!  It has been a great time for some great films both on Blu-ray AND in the theaters!  Last Tuesday Tessa and I went out to Best Buy to pick up Despicable Me and The A-Team on Blu-ray for a fun double feature at home!  We played Despicable Me first because I knew Tessa would love it!  Her expectations were not very high so she was quite impressed because I loved the film myself and I am normally a naysayer of computer-animated films not made by Pixar.

Despicable Me  \m/  \m/  \m/  \m

Tessa wasn’t as thrilled with The A-Team since she’s not a big action movie buff (neither am I, truth be told unless they’re well done) but managed to find it entertaining nonetheless!

The A-Team  \m/  \m/  \m/  \n

Saturday night I met Tessa and her mom in Spartanburg to go see the latest Narnia movie, The Voyage of the Dawn Trader.  I was a little disappointed with Prince Caspian so I didn’t know what to expect with the third film in the series.  However, I was pleasantly surprised because the film was fantastic!  Great action and wonderful special effects!

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Trader  \m/  \m/  \m/  \m/

After Tessa got back home from her mom’s on Sunday, we went out to Olive Garden, rode through Roper Mountain Holiday Lights and went to catch a late showing of TRON: Legacy.  We decided to go the extra mile and watch it in RPX (Regal Premium Experience).  Although the screen wasn’t nearly as large as IMAX, the sound was very impressive and was the loudest I have heard since the heyday of the THX Theater Program!  And the film itself was visually stunning as I am sure the original was to moviegoers back in 1982.  Honestly, I was never a big fan of the original although I have massive respect for its pioneering use of early CGI technology.  The long awaited sequel certainly lives up to its predecessor and I was pleasantly surprised to catch the appearance of one of my favorite character actors, Michael Sheen in the film!  Phenomenal!

TRON: Legacy  \m/  \m/  \m/  \m/  \n

I just want to start by saying that I hope that everyone had a fantastastic holiday weekend!  I know I did as it was mine and Tessa’s first Thanksgiving together!  Poor thing had to work until 7 am Thanksgiving Day so she was worn out most of the day having only managed to sneak in a two hour nap before we went to my aunt and uncle’s house.

After feasting and visiting for a couple of hours, we drew names for Christmas gifts and then dropped a plate off at my Aunt Pat’s who was working on Thanksgiving then went to go see my mom in her new apartment.  From there, it was off to Spartanburg to visit Tessa’s grandmother for yet another feastly visit!

After meeting members of her family, we decided to go home and rest.  Upon arrival, we decided that rest wasn’t in the cards so we decided to gear up and head to the outlet mall in Gaffney for some midnight Black Friday shopping.  Needless to say, the crowd was a force to behold but we managed to get some Christmas shopping done even if it was mostly for ourselves!

We got home and finally crawled into bed around 4 am and slept in for most of the day then ventured out for food, more shopping and even a movie!  We hit Red Robin for some gourmet burgerage then ran over to Garden Ridge and Old Time Pottery to find some Christmas decorations before checking out the 7:50 screening of Due Date starring Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifianakis.  The film was a hilarious venture in the woes of travel quite similar to that of 1987’s Planes, Trains & Automobiles starring Steve Martin and the late great John Candy.

Due Date  \m/  \m/  \m/  \m/

Considering the striking similarity of Due Date and Planes, Trains & Automobiles and considering Tessa had never seen the latter, I decided to make a run for Best Buy before they closed to pick up the film so she could see it.  BIG MISTAKE!  Best Buy is notorious for being Twisted Todd’s tantalizing toy store and had fantastic deals on some of mine and Tessa’s favorite shows such as My Name is Earl and The Big Bang Theory.  We both already had the first seasons of both shows but all seasons were on sale for just ten bucks each for Earl and fifteen for Big Bang.  Oh, and season three of Metalocalypse happened to be there as well….oh yeah, Twisted was naughty!

So, needless to say, much of the remainder of the weekend was spent glued to couch with eyes fixated on the TV!  I think we left only to go to my cousin Ray’s house to watch Carolina whoop Clemson’s ass Saturday night but that was about it.

It was a great long weekend that was FULL-filling, entertaining, a tad productive and VERY restful!

Over the weekend, Tessa and I joined her mom to go see the new Harry Potter flick up in Spartanburg.  Granted I am not as big a fan of the series as Tessa and her mom are (who’ve both read the books), but I do enjoy the films and have caught every one in the theater.  Not to mention that this is the beginning of the end being the first installment in the two part finale from having split the final book into two films.  Definitely can’t wait for part two!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1  \m/  \m/  \m/  \m/

I spent the rest of the weekend resting and bracing myself for what is sure to be an intensely chaotic week since Thanksgiving is just TWO DAYS AWAY and then Tessa and I are diving into the pit of madness that is Black Friday shopping!  May God help us!

Unfortunately, Halloween weekend came and went too quickly!  However I did enjoy going to some haunted houses with Tessa and our friends Kelly and John.  The highlight of the night was Gallows Hall on Main St in downtown Greenville!  This haunted attraction was run by theater folks and not just good ol’ boys with masks and chainsaws so that alone gave this one a unique spin and the theme was that of the story of George Burroughs, the minister who was condemned during the Salem witch trials of the late 17th century.

When we got there, we had to sign a piece of paper which I think was intended to be a waiver of some sort.  When we got in, Tessa was called by name to lead the group and choose the door of our fates.  Along the way we encountered a demented cheerleader in a room of mirrors that terrified poor Tessa….as I shoved her out front as she approached!  Bwahahaha!

Before heading home we also hit Nightmare Dungeon which had some good thrills too including a runaway train at the end.

Saturday we slept in then hit Best Buy to grab some movies including John Carpenter’s The Thing on Blu-ray which Tessa had never seen.

We then went to PetSmart and Tessa found an albino looking cat that she fell in love with and adopted.  His name is Bones but you can call him Bonesy….

We just watched movies and spent time with our newly adopted feline for the rest of the day and lit our jack-o-lanterns at night.

Incidentally, we actually went to church on Halloween then went to go see the new Saw film.  I am glad to see the franchise finally come to an end because they were running out of tricks to keep the series afloat.  Plus I thought it ended well bringing the films full circle in its conclusion.

Saw 3D  \m/  \m/  \m/  \n

After the movie, we hit the mall then WalMart where we ended up buying more horror movies!

Now that Halloween is over, it’s time to look forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas but with one little speed bump in the road this year: Election Day!  Man, I am sick as crap of all the political ads chock full of muckraking and smear campaigns!

I, myself, have always leaned Republican because of my rather conservative views.  However, since the election of Obama and the rise of these dangerous extremists known as the ‘Tea Party’ (not to mention my dissatisfaction of Mr. W Bush), I have questioned my own political standing….if I ever truly had one that is!

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in being unflinching in your morals and codes of ethics, but the lack of cooperation and bipartisanship in our government is quite alarming.  Instead there is only bickering and no one is willing to back down or meet halfway.  Like I said, I believe in standing for what you believe in, but no one group can run the entire country.  Even if it did, people would still disagree.  It’s in our nature, it is what we do.  No one is going to see eye to eye but common ground must be found somewhere somehow.  We are all human and, most importantly, we are all Americans.

Man, I cannot wait for Halloween this weekend!  The weekend is still up in the air because, as of now, the only plans I have are to join some friends Friday night and hit up some haunted houses!

Tessa and I hit up Wompus Woods at about 1 am Friday night/Saturday morning after leaving my remote at Legal Grounds up in Rutherfordton, NC (her neck of the woods since she lives down the road in Spindale).  The trail was fun but the real treat was being behind two young blonde girls who were screaming like….uh, well GIRLS the whole time!

After sleeping in ’til like noon, we got up and headed to Shelby, NC with her mom to grab some lunch, hit the mall and go see Paranormal Activity 2.  Personally, I didn’t find the prequel/sequel to be nearly as scary as the first film but it did give some intriguing background to the story.  Definitely a must-see for fans of the original!

Paranormal Activity 2  \m/  \m/  \m/  \

Sunday was hockey day as we hit up the Bi-Lo Center to catch the Greenville Road Warriors take on the South Carolina Stingrays for Tessa to experience her first hockey game.  The game started well with the Road Warriors scoring two goals in the first period however the Stingrays scored two goals during the second and two more during the third to take the game 4 – 2.

After the game, we went pumpkin shopping and picked up three killer pumpkins one of which Tessa carved while I made dinner.  We’re gonna save the other two for this weekend!  I’m ready for Halloween dammit!!!!