Johnny Knoxville I am not!  I am NO Stevo. Nor, am I of the caliber  of Joey Diapers.  I  tried to blow myself up with firecrackers Sunday.  I admit I can not pull off  many stunts…. Taking the advice of my neighbors and my fiance,  I opted for sparklers. I put together a baton-fire act. It was great in my backyard. Unfortunately, my stunt sucked today.  I could not make it work because the sparklers would not light. Cest la vie!!

Friday after getting off the air, Rebecca, Mikey and I all went to go see the new Pixar flick WALL-E.  During the previews, there was a trailer for a new Disney animated feature called Bolt which, I later find out, a college friend of mine named Chris Doehling worked on some of the animation in the film.

WALL-E surprised me in that it was very bleak in the beginning and made a very serious statement about the current course of man (didn’t Shyamalan already make a big environmentalist statement this summer?!).  However, the situation is reversed by our lovable main character and his newly found ‘lady’ friend in an adventure true to the nature of Pixar.  I didn’t find this one to be Pixar’s best, but I’d have to say that WALL-E is easily the most lovable character created by the computer animation masters.

WALL-E  \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/

The next night Rebecca had a party at her house and, of course, I was recruited to help her set up for the party (didn’t I give up this duty when we broke up?!).  So, being the newly created Jell-O fiend I’ve become (thank you St. Patty’s Day on River St. in Savannah!), I went by Party City and found those little Solo dipping cups which are nice and shallow so the Jell-O shooters are much more accessible to the tongue (another trick we discovered in Savannah).  I also grabbed ten packages of generic brand gelatin at CVS which were on clearance for 25 cents a box!  Those were in addition to the couple of boxes of name brand Jell-O we already had for a grand total of four cherry, four orange and four strawberry.

We ran to Green’s to nab various liquors and, of course, got some Everclear for the Jell-O (oh yeah, we weren’t messin’ around)!  So, for each box of Jell-O, you’re supposed to use a cup of boiling water and a cup of cold water.  Originally, we were going to substitute ALL the cold water with alcohol but since we were using Everclear we just used a half-cup of alcohol and half-cup of cold water.  Needless to say even that was extremely potent!  And we had no idea how many Jell-O shots each would yield.  We did all four boxes of cherry then decided only to go with two boxes of orange and ended up with damn near 60 Jell-O shots and eight Jell-O injector syringes!

By the end of the night we had just a little over a dozen Jell-O shots remaining as well as three syringes (granted there were other liquors and some beer involved).  And I am happy to report that in nearly 32 years I have still yet to get sick from drinking!  I think I know what I’m serving at my birthday party in a month!  There’s ALWAYS room for J-E-L-L-O!

Well, the only thing I have to say is thank you!  I have been a part of many wonderful things working at this radio station.  The kindness that all of you have for each other is very heart warming.  The auction was a great success thanks to all of the P1’s …..  So far we have raised over $24,000. for the Blanton Family.

I took a little time out of the office Friday to go see the new Mike Myers flick The Love Guru.  I was expecting another stupid comedy from another SNL veteran like that of Adam Sandler’s You Don’t Mess with the Zohan and even that was an overestimation!  The film was full of unrefined dick and fart jokes, which I usually enjoy but these were totally lame and unoriginal.  I admit I chuckled a few times at the blatant absurdity of it all, but not enough to have remotely enjoyed a whole hour and a half of it.  Hard to believe this came from the mastermind that created one of my all-time favorite comedies (and frequently quoted both on and off the air), Wayne’s World.  I’m not going to tell you not to ever see this movie.  I will tell you to consider it if you’re on vacation and you and your significant other want to stay in and catch a movie in your hotel room and take advantage of free HBO!  Just don’t pay to see it!  Thankfully I didn’t!

The Love Guru  \m/ \m/

After work, Mikey and I went to catch a much better film, the film adaptation of the 60s’ hit TV series Get Smart starring Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway and Dwayne (will still always be “The Rock”) Johnson.  This was everything I expected, so I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Comedy, action, gadgets and a surprising number of appearances from cast members of the remake of The Longest Yard.  Nothing more to say except that this was the film to see this weekend.  Screw the guru!

Get Smart  \m/ \m/ \m/ \n

Before leaving the office to kill 90 minutes of my life Friday morning, I grabbed a copy of the new SHINEDOWN cd we had just received.  As I was hoping, the album goes more in the vein of “Devour” as that song opens the cd with the title track “The Sound of Madness” following and keeping the momentum.  Granted there are a handful of trademark ballads from the band such as “Second Chance” and my favorite of the slower tempoed tunes, “If You Only Knew”.  Overall, a really good record from a band I, admittedly, am not a big fan of being this is the first album by the band I’ve owned.

SHINEDOWN  The Sound of Madness  \m/ \m/ \m/ \n

Alright, for anyone who’s met me (or seen my ugly mugshot above), you know I have small rodent-like teeth (“What does he do, nibble your bum?”).  It is that fact that I thought my wisdom teeth wouldn’t be a problem fitting once they came in.  Yeah, it’s a good thing I’m not a dentist because I was wrong!

My lower right wisdom tooth has been moving off and on for years now, but it wasn’t until this weekend that it really started to give me discomfort outside of just cutting through the gum.  This time it was actually wedging itself into the inner side of my cheek!

Having not been to the dentist in YEARS, I quickly went online to my dental insurance provider to find the nearest dental office I was covered under.  I found Carolina Oaks which is near the old studios at McAlister Square and gave them a call first thing Monday morning.  After briefing them on my somewhat urgent situation and negotiating various appointment times, I was able to nail down an 8:30 appointment for Tuesday.

I got to the dental office around 8:15 and, after filling out the usual medical and insurance paperwork, I found myself getting X-rayed and in the dentist chair.  The dentist came back and greeted me having gotten wind of who I was and introduced himself as Marc Workman.  He sat and talked with me about my options, one of which being to go ahead and yank the bastard to which I, of course, agreed.

First, he took a large swab with some numbing jelly on it and proceeded to apply it to the area in question.  Let me tell you, that stuff is amazing!  I hardly felt the needles used to actually anesthetize my mouth!  Then, of course, I sat for a while to let the anesthetics take effect which is a very strange sensation!  Now I know what Bill Cosby was talking about!

Then the little operation began which wasn’t bad considering I really couldn’t feel much.  I’ve heard the pressure is the worst part but the only thing that really bothered me was all the bone scraping noises that went straight to my ear!  UGH!!!

When it was over, I had to chew on some guaze to stop the bleeding and I, fortunately, didn’t need any stitching.  Granted I went through a few clumps of gauze over the next hour!  I had them let me keep the tooth (yes, I’m juvenile and morbid like that) and before leaving I made a much overdue appointment for a good teeth cleaning for late next month.  I got in my car around 9:45 having only been at the dentist office for a mere hour and a half!

 I then headed to Wal-Mart to get my prescription filled.  Of course, it was gonna take about an hour to fill, so I went over to grab some early lunch at Chic-Fil-A.  I just got the nugget combo so I could just throw food in my mouth and chew on one side.  Unfortunately, I kept biting the right side of my bottom lip because it was still numb and I couldn’t tell what I was biting!  As I was finishing my meal, the nerves in the operated area woke up and they were NOT HAPPY!!!

So, I went back to the pharmacy to see if my prescription had, by chance, been filled early.  Of course it wasn’t so I ran over to the electronics department to look around and tried to take my mind off the pain.  I grabbed a copy of Jeff Dunham’s DVD Arguing with Myself and went back to pick up my prescription.  The prescription was for Vicodin and I, of course, got the generic brand which has been taking GOOD care of me!  LOL!!!

Being the trooper that I am, I went right to the office around noon to get some work done and then on the air at 2 pm.  Before getting off the air, my good dentist actually called the request line just to see how I was doing!  I think Twisted Todd has found his dentist!  Thank you, Dr. Workman!

I recently had the opportunity to visit one of the oldest homes in Spartanburg. I was invited to investigate the Bishop House. The Spartanburg Historical Society sought after P.S.I. to investigate this fine home for paranormal activivty. P.S.I. stands for Paranormal Scene Investigators. P.S.I. a nonprofit organization that scientifically observes a dwelling for any paranormal activity.  Joe and his crew set up in the house. there was  a camera in every room.  There was a lot of recording equipment that could pick up the slightest movement or sound. Before going into the house, I was shown pictures of a shadow like figure that apears to people from the upstairs bedroom. Also, I was told that many people have reported a small boy that would apear and climb on the fence in front of the house. Both of these images have been seen from different people passing by the house at different hours. With this knowledge, I was hoping to see the boy or the man figure in the house. The first time I went into the house I got to look around. I notice the woodwork and the high ceilings. The house is a historical jewel. In almost every room stood a magnificent fireplace.   It is truely amazing how this house has withstood time and the elements. The house was a Queen Anne style home.  It was  probably an amazing work of architecture in the late 1800s. The only thing that was frightening was the fact that we did not have any air conditioning. The place really looked like a movie set. We were not sure what we would find lurking in the shadows. The cameras were powered by a source outside. The gates were locked and we in for the night. The teams were formed and ready to begin the investigation. The first team went into the house. They took the downstairs. The group went room to room, moving slowly while asking questions outloud. The temperature was recorded and so was the sound. One person had a video recorder. Members or the teams carried digital sound recorders and other ivestigative equipment. This group stayed 15 minutes inside, while everything was monitored by the other people working the monitors on the front porch of the house. It was then my groups turn. We took the upstairs. We slowly walked up the stair case past the broken once brilliant stained glass windows. We slowly ascended into the upper part of the house. I noticed that the wallpaper was the original victorian paper. In one of the bedrooms and the nursery. The nursery was the middle room. The huge window was broken and the torn wall paper had wagon wheels on it. The house was dusty.  It was obvious that no one had lived here for quite some time.  Our time was up. The last group went into the house. As this group made their way through the house we heard loud crashes from inside. Honestly, I was glad I was on the porch.

We took a break and took a midnight stroll through the adjoining cemetery. It is the one oldest graveyards in Spartanburg County. The head stones dated back to the Civil War. I felt a lot sadness about this place. Especially, when you see a gravesite that has been vandalized. Broken head stones always give you an eerie feeling. You Can’t blame the departed for being a little upset.

It was time to go back into the house. Each person picked a room. I picked the nursery, hoping to contact the little boy. I wanted to go back to the upstairs.  I sat on the wooden floor.  The room was dark and quiet.  No furniture….the only light beamed in from the broken window.  I sat and asked questions into a recorder. The door moved. I asked, was that you. The door sqeaked again!  There was no breeze. I thought that maybe the old dusty house was settling. I went through the door and into the next bedroom. I felt kind of sick at my stomach. It didn’t see anyone. Shortly after, my time was up and I had to go back downstairs.

  The final group went back into the house to verbally taunt the sprirts.  I can’t wait for the results of this investigation.  I would really love to do it again.

Contact Joe, Paranormal Scene Investigators.com

Please leave your questions and comments.

Thanks,

Paige

It’s about damn time THE OFFSPRING got back to just rockin’ it instead of trying to be a joke band.  Don’t get me wrong, I think they pull it off well, but I think they’re much more than a one-trick pony.

The disc opens with what I consider to be the strongest track on the record, “Half-Truism” which has an infectiously catchy chorus which baits and reels you into the album which, in turn, keeps you ensnared with its pop punk appeal that is the band’s true forte.

And I am actually surprised I liked the disc so much considering it was produced by Bob Rock, the man who made a large contribution to METALLICA’s ruination.  Let’s just hope Rick Rubin can redeem our fallen metal heroes since he didn’t do much for LINKIN PARK with Minutes to Midnight.  I guess we’ll find out this fall.

THE OFFSPRING  Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace  \m/ \m/ \m/ \n

I went to go see the new M. Night Shyamalan film Friday night because Rebecca was dying to go see it.  I, on the other hand, was a bit apprehensive due to several negative remarks I had already caught wind of.  Plus, let’s face it, Shyamalan is a quirky director with a hit-and-miss record.  I, and most of the free world, loved 1999’s The Sixth Sense.  2000’s Unbreakable was entertaining, I thoroughly enjoyed 2002’s Signs but was not at all impressed with 2004’s The Village – I thought that one would have been better as a half-hour episode of The Twilight Zone.  As for 2006’s Lady in the Water, I’m still not sure how I feel about that one as it was so-so.

But I have to say I actually enjoyed the new Shayamalan film despite the obvious statement the director is making with the movie.  I, of course, loved the rather gruesome death scenes as Shyamalan has apparently developed a little taste for gore in this one!  As is par for the course with a Shyamalan film, I can’t really say much more without spoiling the movie, so I’ll just have to be as vague and ambiguous as his themes tend to be.

The Happening  \m/ \m/ \m/

Now this is what I have been waiting for since the disappointment of 2003’s Hulk!  Yeah, I did the midnight showing not just because I’m a geek, but also because I have so much work to do today I can’t justify taking time out of the office!

Edward Norton, unsurprisingly, does an excellent job portraying Dr. Bruce Banner, a scientist with HUGE anger management issues.  If you liked that pun, well the film is full of even more clever ones that aren’t afraid to embrace the cheese!  Some of the film’s momentum is a bit slow yet necessary, but the payoff is…..well, INCREDIBLE!

The action in the film is great and Hulk fans will be pleased to get a dose of the eagerly awaited HULK SMASH!!!  And I am proud to inform you that there is no need to stay through the credits for the big bonus is at the end BEFORE the credits roll!

THE INCREDIBLE HULK  \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \n